How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
