Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
