Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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