I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
