she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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