so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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