I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I want her autograph on my taint
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
