Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
