It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
