I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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