I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
