so explain again why im purple
no
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
