either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
