She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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