hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
