Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just blew my weed a kiss
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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