she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize