At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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