I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
