She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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