Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
