Whats the count minus fat chicks?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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