ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
