My sheets look like a crime scene.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
