you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
grandma shit on top of the toilet
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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