You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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