i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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