I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Do vagina's smell?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
