we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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