omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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