Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize