so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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