he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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