he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
