Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think my moral compass just broke
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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