We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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