I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
