Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
