Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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