mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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