his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
