This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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