This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
