My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
time to smoke my breakfast
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
