I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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