We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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