Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize