Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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