"it" just moved
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
