there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
