So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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