Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
