That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize