YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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