I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
