Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
