I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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