i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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