its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
