may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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