do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
