don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
