hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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