just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
