She's JV to your varsity
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
